I'm instituting a new policy around here.
In the interest of moving towards what I want to be (or think I want to be) my natural inclination is to go BIG. Because I'm impatient like that. I want things to happen immediately, if not right now.
Sometimes I accuse my Love of looking back on my year of unemployment as a wasteland of empty, useless days and beg him please, for the love of God! Stop pressuring me because can't he understand? Change does not happen overnight!
Then its like...oh. You didn't think that? You mean that was me, projecting onto you, pressuring myself?
Ahem. Oh. Well.
And then he goes, "Hmph" with tight lips and sideways glance through lowered lids which is his classic sound and expression of disapproval, because though he wasn't disapproving before I laid into him? Now he is.
Whoops.
So, Self, remember (and there's no need to bring in all that drama), I have made lots of progress, just not exactly in the areas or ways that I thought I would. But getting to the root of my feelings of shame, learning to trust my intuition, and beginning to outline what I authentically want out of life are actually big accomplishments. Granted, we're not exactly rushing to notify Oprah about all this, but still. These things mean a lot to me.
-------But wait, there's more!--------
I have some smaller intentions that I want to incorporate on my way to the New Life Plan, and I know that huge, important changes often start with just one step. Like the beating of a butterfly's wings....
So here are my baby steps: One Change A Week.
I am so brilliant! If not original.
But! This lets me relax because I don't feel I have to do everything ohmygodallatonce. Because I have a plan, right there in my sidebar. It's small. It's manageable. There's no need to panic because I know I'll get to it all, one lovely little step at a time.
That is, unless I DIE. But let's hope for the best here.
And pfffft! One thing? That's all I have to do this week? I am so on it.
These are not the ones I ate this morning, because I forgot to take a picture before I scarfed them down. So this file photo of eggs from say, 2007, is all I've got. Like you really care. Shut up, Stacia.
For my first week I'm starting with something easy: replace the morning fried eggs with hard-boiled. I'm cooking them the night before so they're all ready when I wake up starving, and the shells come off easier because they're refrigerator cold.
Sunday is now designated One Change A Week Day. Mark your calendars.
Sounds fabulous!
Posted by: V | 03/15/2010 at 07:39 PM