Morphine is not my friend.

Florida was a wonderful, sun-drenched 90 degrees and I wore sundresses and cute sandals and reveled in it -- for approximately one day.

Because then?  Then, people got sick.

With a stomach virus that was conveniently going around.  And some of us had to go to the Emergency Room because she has a very low tolerance for discomfort and when the entire abdomen of this person is pulsating with excruciating pain and she is dehydrated because everything is coming out and nothing is going in, then she will say good-bye to her dog in case the pain is actually her kidneys shutting down and she never sees her dog again and fork over the $250 ER co-pay and wait for two and a half hours to be seen, watching ambulance after ambulance bring other sick people in to take her precious space in line.  And some of us will also simultaneously contract a cold from her sister-in-law and maintain a headache all week because she forgot to bring her own pillow from home and her head is quite particular in its comfort.

That person would be me.  The girl with the constitution of a chihuahua.

Other people got sick too, but no one else got morphine.

Because when the kind doctor came in Examination Room 3 and found me whimpering and doubled over she decided to give me pain meds for relief, and, well, yay!  This is what I came for!  Well, that and to verify that my kidneys were not, in fact, shutting down. 

And then the nurse said "morphine" and I've never had it before but through my haze of pain, I clearly remember thinking to myself, "That is a bad idea."

Unfortunately, I did not say this out loud.  After all, I've never had morphine before, and I came for pain relief so who am I to turn it down?

Who I am is smart, apparently.  Or at least I would have been, had I put an immediate stop to that nonsense and requested something that I know works and doesn't want to kill me.  Because I know that I don't do so well with drugs, especially ones that the Good Nurse tried to warn me "everyone reacts differently to."  Which means that I am bound to react poorly.  This is why I avoid drugs if at all possible.  If there is a side effect, I will find it. 

I don't even have to take them to have bad effects.  Every year in elementary school, when my classmates and I were herded into the auditorium for the policeman to traumatize me gross us out with slides of people with gaping black holes in their legs from shooting up too much, I came this close to passing out.  Every time.

Anyway, morphine?  And an overly enthusiastic Bad Nurse who ruthlessly shoves the IV in my arm after I say, "I don't do too well with this stuff" and when I scream "SHIT!" repeatedly and then vomit from the pain apparently thinks, Wow!  She really needs drugs!  And proceeds to give me the entire dose of evil morphine practically all at once so that I completely lose my shit because I know that I am about to faint since it feels just like elementary school and then I go unconscious in my Love's arms after snotting all over his shirt?  And which drops my blood pressure to about 86/45 and it has never, ever been that low and makes me stay in the ER for 7 hours so they can give me 6 liters of fluid to get it back up to something resembling normal? 

No.  No, no, no and...no.  Thank you, no.

My constitution, aka my SIL's chihuahua, Pocholo.  He looks big in this picture because he is being manhandled by a 3-year-old.

Up sides?   Because after this, just about anything is?

I'm alive. 

My Love did not have to give me one of his kidneys, though on the ride to the hospital he promised that he would "if it was a match."

And......

Coming out of my coma faint to hear my Love saying in my ear, "I'm here with you, Mami."

Comments

[John Bates]

Why does that happen?
Sod's Law I suppose.
You relax to enjoy your holiday
and all those nasty things come
out to get you.
It just doesn't seem fair.

[Stacia]

Is that the same Sod of "Sod off!" fame? And who is he? Sounds Norse. Here he is known as "Murphy."

It isn't fair! But then I'm unemployed and tried to go on vacation. Maybe it was punishment. Sod's vengeance?

Ick? :-)

[John Bates]

No it's not related to the Sod of "Sod Off" fame ;-)

According to Wikipedia Murphy's Law
is a special case of Sod's Law. But I can
assure you that, after having read the
pages for both of them, there is more
detail there than a normal person
would wish to know about them.

And so, being a normal person, I can
only conclude that, Yes, they mean the
same thing (and that one sounds more
like an insult than the other) :-)

[McCaffery]

Stacia, I am so sorry you had to go through this after only getting to enjoy one day in Florida. What a way to be put through the wringer! I hope you are feeling more back to yourself! xoxo...

[Stacia]

Thanks John - I can always count on you to do the research! ;-)

[Stacia]

I am over the stomach bug and morphine effects, still a little drippy from the cold though, thanks McCaffery! And we did get to go out the last day we were there and saw the new Robin Hood with my Love's sister and her husband. I loved that movie even more than I thought I would.

[V]

Hi Stacia,

You've been awfully quiet recently....

V

[Kate]

Hi Stacia great to get your comment on my blog. and what a coincidence I was only thinking of you this morning and wondering where you are? I miss your posts.....hope you are just busy and not poorly again. Does your Cuban man speak good english? It's easy to slip into english here and sometimes although I really try to speak spanish more I just get tired and switch back to what is easy. But I know the ONLY way to learn is to totally immerse myself. Ah well, this evening a party with the whole family so I will be listening more than talking yet again. love Kate x

[GreenCanary]

You know it's love when they offer to give you a kidney.

Sorry about the vomiting. That couldn't have been fun.