Butterfly on the Wall

The barn swallows are back...

...and so am I! 

I am so happy to be back home with my Love and my dog where everything is suddenly so green, green, green and to top it all off, the barn swallows are back from Cuba.  Well, I don't know if our particular swallows go to Cuba, but since my Love says that the birds overwinter there, I'd like to think so.  For me, it's another connection to that beautiful country.

Also?  Someone got a little too comfortable sleeping alone as I found out last night when I woke in the middle of the night clinging to the edge of the bed with my Love pressed right up behind me, snoozing away like he owned the place.  This was not a love cuddle, people.  There was a bony elbow boring into  the back of my head like I wasn't even there. 

So nice to know that somebody missed me.

Real men cook in teddy bear aprons

He's been known to carry my purse on occasion, too, if necessary.

And HE IS OK WITH THAT.

One of my oldest and dearest friends is coming for dinner tonight with her husband.  Though we only live about 35 minutes apart, we don't get to see each other as often as we would like.  With two kids and her own business, she is very busy.  Unlike me, who just sits at home and whines a lot.

Back in high school, she taught me horseback riding and gave me emotional ownership of one of her horses since me having my own for reals was out of the question.  I was at her house after school a lot.  Mostly eating.  Because her mom bought cool junk food and mine didn't.

She is one of those people who has known forever, without a doubt, what she wanted to do with her life and she made it happen.  I am so envious of people who have that knowledge and don't allow anything or anyone to knock them off their path.  A beautiful thing.

My Birthday - I'm still leveraging it

So last night--3 days after my birthday--my mom, my Love and I went to the only remotely fancy pants restaurant around here for dinner.

Eating at good restaurants used to be one of my greatest pleasures in life.  It is also one of the main reasons I used to have over $10,000 in credit card debt.  Well, that and no self-control.  But it is also how I learned about good food.  So it was sort of like a student loan, maybe.

Anyway, my Love was very disappointed that the restaurant didn't have the duck and he was slipping into grumpy so I had to say, "Whose birthday is it?" reminding him that the only person who needed to be pleased that night was ME, and grumpiness would make Us most upset.  And then he kept not ordering extra things like salad and dessert because he was paying for everything, even though I was going to make my mom pay for her part, but he got all noble and wouldn't let her.  He is always showing me up like that.  

This is the first time we've eaten out at a place with $20+ entrees in about 3 years.  We hardly ever eat out, especially at places like this because ever since we spent two years paying down our monstrous debt, spending decisions are weighed much more carefully.  And really, most of the time its not a hardship.  We like my cooking way better than any of the cheap restaurants (see? that "education" wasn't a total bust) and now, dropping over $100 for one meal?  Well, there are just so many things that are more important to me than that.  I mean it was good and all, and I wouldn't be able to replicate it at home.  But was it that good?  Not so sure.

On the other hand, sometimes I think we're way too practical and that I'm missing something by not being frivolous on occasion.  Sometimes we/I need to splurge a little so as not to feel deprived.  Left to his own devises the Cuban can be very spartan.  Like: "I don't need desserts, ever" says the man who can suck up a whole flan in a three days if one happens to just, you know, magically appear.

My first flan!  The Cuban declared it perfect.  High praise indeed.

It's just that the list of things I truly madly deeply want is much shorter these days.  And if its something small, I go ahead and buy it.  And the other things that I really want just can't be wrapped up in bows and (recycled) pretty paper. 

Because they mostly involve inner peace. 

Or livestock.

MY TRUE BIRTHDAY WISHES

Riding in Florida 2007

I want a pony.  There are horses here at the landlords' farm that are rarely visited by their owners.  Pretty horses.  They should be mine.

Colorado from Juniper Moon Farm - this is one of my most favorite sheep pics ever

I want sheep.  It used to be goats, but after seeing tons of sheep photos on the various farm blogs I follow I'm now in love with the sheep-ehz.  But if I had goats I could learn how to make chèvre......mmmmmmmm, chèvre.  I guess I could have asked for chèvre itself but that is a fleeting pleasure.  Give a girl chèvre and she eats for 15 minutes, tops.  I can inhale that stuff a day, teach her how to make chèvre (and give her a goat) and she eats for a lifetime. 

Habana Vieja, Cuba, 2008

I want to travel to other countries.  I don't think mom's $50 birthday contribution will make much of a dent in the budget.

I have no illustration for this next one because I cannot fathom its existence right now.

A job that pays decent and doesn't suck.  Oh boy, I'd really love one of those.

And more chickens.  One can never have enough.

Happy Birthday to me!

August 2008, Cuba.

At the pig roast family gathering this was my "birthday" cake and they sang Happy Birthday and everything.  Very sweet. 

But the realist, intellectual, can't-believe-someone-would-do-something-for-me joy-kill in me kept saying to my Love, "But it's not my birthday.  Do they know my birthday is in March?  Why do I have a cake and all?" 

He never gave me a complete answer, which I took to mean: Just shut up and go with it.

So I did.  And if I stopped trying to think too hard, I might realize that it was probably a way of welcoming me to the family, and in that sense, it was a kind of birthday.  I felt special and included and that's most likely "why."

Of course I also felt I was now a member of the family by the way they kept asking when we were going to start having babies, but whatever.

I think I may make this my theme for the year.

Just shut up and go with it.

(P.S. Read under Random Facts on my About Me page for an explanation of why the cake says "Felicidades Ana.")